How Roman Reigns Stole Christmas!

You’re a mean one, Tribal Chief.

Inspired by the Christmas song, You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, from the 1966 Dr. Seuss animated special How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, here’s my holiday gift to the wrestling community: How Roman Reigns Stole Christmas (and pretty much all of 2023).

You’re a mean one, Tribal Chief

You really are a heel,

You take too much time off, and all of your wins you did steal, Tribal Chief

Your work at the Rumble left fans stewing in their feels

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You’re a monster, Tribal Chief

Your heart’s an empty hole,

In Montreal at the Chamber, you took Sami Zayn’s soul, Tribal Chief

As he failed to take your Undisputed Universal gold

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You’re a vile one, Tribal Chief

There’s no end to your guile

You left Cody Rhodes heartbroken in a sad, crumpled pile, Tribal Chief

In a rematch between the two of you

Cody will lose by a country mile

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You’re a foul one, Tribal Chief,

You’re the one they love to boo

They YEET for Jey and chant for Punk, Seth Rollins, and Orton, too, Tribal Chief

But the three words I have for you are as follows, and I quote, “I. Acknowledge. You.”

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A part-timer, Tribal Chief

Your workload is very light

This year you worked eleven nights with just nine title fights, Tribal Chief

Your record is an appalling sight, it generates heat, but you’re a wise businessman who shows up to earn those big, fat Saudi paychecks

Not a bad deal, amirite?

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You entertain me, Tribal Chief

As you dole out another loss

Your Bloodline’s kind of rocky and your wise man’s a sneaky boss, Tribal Chief

But you’re the Head of the Table and a Samoan tank

That they best not cross!

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From the Island of Relevancy, Merry Christmas, Cagesiders.

Ro, Ro, Ro!