‘F*** your story’: The trouble with Cody Rhodes finishing his saga

A story about a story and wrestling history.

On Friday (March 1), The Rock dropped a 20-minute promo blistering Cody Rhodes, his dog, and Rhodes’ new best pal, Seth Rollins. As wrestling monologues go, this was another masterful performance by the Great One that was as cutting as it was entertaining.

But above all else, The Rock said it best regarding Cody Rhodes’ fabled quest to capture the WWE Championship.

“F*** your story.”

Before I go any further, I want to preface this by saying that I appreciate Rhodes as a performer. His character’s presentation and promo styling are still not my cup of tea, but I admire his work ethic, respect his professionalism, and understand why so many people like him.

I also value a portion of his fanbase, those who wear their hearts on their sleeves and brazenly display their affection for the son of Dusty Rhodes despite facing criticism for it. Being someone who openly expresses admiration for Roman Reigns, my Tribal Chief, I can sympathize with their situation as I navigate through negative feedback with a smirk and a glass (or two) of Teremana.

But since Cody’s return to WWE in 2022 and declaring his intention to win the title that eluded his father, the phrase “Finish the Story” and its variants have become nails on the chalkboard of my soul. It’s been repeated an infinite number of times on WWE programming, through countless wrestling websites, and is the marketing slogan for the video game WWE 2K24.

While I would never go against my Tribal Chief, there is a part of me — no bigger than a grain of sand — that is rooting for Rhodes to win the title at ‘Mania just to slay that annoying catchphrase, which makes tinnitus seem like the sweet sound of Clifford Brown.

That does, however, bring up an interesting question.

What happens when Cody Rhodes finally completes his saga?

If and when Cody Rhodes becomes the WWE Champion, he will embark on a series of title defenses like every champion that’s come before him. That’s obvious. But his fairytale ends once his hand is raised and the title is strapped around his waist.

By clinging to the narrative as he has, Cody Rhodes has based his entire career on this one goal. Once he reaches the peak of Mount WWE, he will have no worlds left to conquer, and there will be no higher high for his fans to experience.

Ah, yes, the fans.

Just as I’ll likely go to the grave with a finger in the air acknowledging the Head of the Table, multitudes of Nightmare disciples will continue to support their hero through thick and thin. But there are countless bandwagon fans who are simply along for the ride and will quickly abandon the Cody Express upon spotting the first off-ramp.

Bryan Danielson, during his time in WWE, said it best. Fans are fickle; they cheer for you today, they boo you the next. They’re the people who chanted CM Punk’s name for eight years, only to jump ship at the first sign of trouble. The same types who whisper aloud on social media that Seth Rollins, ten months into his campaign as the World Champion, has held the title too long.

Once Rhodes realizes his dream, these fickle fanatics will flee in droves once their euphoria dies down and another shiny object grabs their attention. “We want that guy as our champion,” they’ll say. And they won’t hesitate to give Rhodes the thumbs down once they get fixated on the next big thing, whoever that is.

Aside from WWE extending Rhodes’ quest as long as it can, the best case for Rhodes is to win the championship and have it immediately taken away in the most heartbreaking Money in the Bank cash-in of all time. In that scenario, Rhodes would have a new adventure to set sail on, one most fans will happily tag along for.

But those are matters for Cody and his revelers.

As an astute aficionado of the art and history of sports entertainment, I will gladly suffer through another four years of Rhodes’ tired mantra for one reason: May 4, 2028, the day Roman Reigns would break Bruno Sammartino’s record as the longest-reigning world champion in professional wrestling history.

WWE.com

During my nearly 40 years of pro wrestling consumption, I’ve seen records made and broken. The Honky Tonk Man became the longest-reigning Intercontinental Champion. Though it took 35 years, Gunther came along and smashed that mark into the tiniest of pieces. Demolition dominated WWE’s golden age of tag team wrestling. Almost 30 years later, the New Day broke Ax and Smash’s championship record, only for the Usos to ultimately blow both teams out of the water.

But the big one remains.

Should Roman Reigns survive WrestleMania and make it to late summer with the Undisputed WWE Universal title intact, he will surpass Hulk Hogan for the third-longest world title run in company history. While I subscribe to the theory, “If you’re not first, you’re last,” watching Reigns run past and over my childhood icon and champion is of personal significance. And given that Hogan’s long reign was the last of its kind, it makes Reigns’ journey all the more meaningful.

But more than that, for Reigns to usurp Bruno, the man whose record stands like Gangkhar Puensum, the world’s highest unclimbed mountain, it would be the ultimate achievement, spoken of for generations, akin to Barry Bonds breaking the all-time home run record.

For all of these reasons, I respectfully and humbly echo the words uttered by the People’s Champion.

Cody, f*** your story.