AEW Rampage 8/19/22 Results

Fresh off of Dynamite’s House of the Dragon Throne of Black… something or other, we’re back for Dynamite. Being very transparent, it’s almost seemed like AEW has given up on Rampage as of late, and I hope that’s not the case. Let’s see what this week’s episode looks like:

“The Natural” Dustin Rhodes!

Dustin says for years, he has wanted to be where Claudio is, and that is a world champion. If Claudio accepts Dustin’s challenge, he will get the best version of “The Natural” there’s ever been. Claudio accepts.

Match #1. AEW World Tag Team Titles: Swerve in Our Glory (c) vs. Private Party

Kassidy and Lee start. Lee biels Cassidy but Cassidy lands on his feet and Lee is impressed. Double chest chop by Lee drops Kassidy and in comes Swerve. Diving European elbow by Swerve but Kassidy counters with a back elbow. Suplex attempt by Swerve as Quen comes off the top with a cross body but Swerve side steps, and Kassidy reverses a suplex with a hurricanrana. Tornillo to the outside by Kassidy and Private Party is in control. Private Party looks for Gin N Juice early but Swerve hits a Swerve Stomp to Quen in mid-air and gets the tag to Lee. Shoulder blocks for everyone and a belly to belly for Kassidy. Reverse beil to Quen before leveling Kassidy with a lariat. Lee delivers a pounce to Quen as Quen bounces of the ropes and back into Lee! Two count. Swerve is in now with a Swerve Kick to the back of Quen’s head that only gets two. SIOG is shocked at the two. JML Driver by Swerve gets the win here.

Winners and STILL AEW World Tag Team Champions: Swerve in Our Glory

Rating: **1/4. Not a very competitive match here and a lot of it took place during PIP. SIOG looks dominant as they should, but Private Party, who were clearly outnumbered, wouldn’t give up easily.

Post-match, Lee and Swerve show respect to Private Party with a pair of fist bumps.

QT Marshal is playing cards with the rest of The Factory, as Powerhouse Hobbs enters and flops the table. QT said they would take care of Starks and they didn’t… but they will.

Match #2. FTW World Title: Hook (c) vs. Zack Clayton

Clayton kind of looks like Alex Riley. Clayton swings at Hook. Hook locks in the Redrum. Finito.

Winner and STILL FTW Champion: Hook

Rating: NR.

Since Hook made such short work of his opponent, we have a standby match. FIVE MATCHES?!

Match #3. Buddy Matthews w/ Julia Hart vs. Serpentico

Shotgun dropkick by Buddy Matthews to start. Serpentico rolls outside and Matthews punts him in the face from the apron. Matthews runs into a boot inside the ring and Serpentico heads up to the top rope with an attempted hurricanrana but Matthews catches him… buckle bomb! Pop-up knee strike by Matthews. Murphy’s Law and that’s enough to get the win.

Winner: Buddy Matthews

Rating: NR

Miro is here, with Malakai Black’s mask! Matthews attacks Miro but Miro tosses him into the steel steps. Clothesline and a corner avalanche by Miro as Matthews is getting stomped to the ground. Miro grabs Matthews and wants to know where the Pagan’s are. Pump kick by Miro and Matthews retreats.

Dr. Britt Baker, DMD, Rebel, and Jamie Hayter are in the back with Lexy Nair, before Rebel ushers Nair away. Baker says they don’t have anything to do at the PPV but hang out and watch ThunderStorm implode.

Match #4. Penelope Ford vs. Athena

Arm drag by Athena but Ford fights out. Rising knee by Athena but Athena gets tossed into the corner. Handspring back elbow by Ford but Athena catches her and sends her to the ropes, only to return with a cazadora, sending Athena neck first over the middle rope. Dropkick to the back by Ford. Athena is laying prone on the apron and Ford hits a double jump twisting elbow that lands but also kind of sends her directly into the camera man. Clotheslines by Ford before finally hitting the handspring back elbow she attempted earlier. Athena attempts a clothesline but Ford bridges underneath and hits a Stunner as we head to commercial. Back from break and Athena has tossed Ford into the guard rail in front of Kip Sabian, her husband. Back in the ring and Athena goes up top… Eclipse!

Winner: Athena

Rating: **

The Baddies have attacked Athena after the bell, as Jade and Big Stoke hit the stage. Jade has a sledgehammer and destroys Athena’s wings that she made herself. NOT THE WINGS. Jade hits the ring and levels Athena with a sledgehammer to the abdomen after some really awful looking strikes from Hogan and Velvet.

Match #5. AEW World Trios Tournament Semi Final: Best Friends & Orange Cassidy vs. Trustbusters

Davari and Taylor to start, but Davari makes the quick tag to Slim J. What’s a Slim J? Soul Food to Davari and Chuck grabs J in a Razor’s Edge and tosses him backwards into a sit-out powerbomb by Trent. Rising knee to Davari and Psycho Knee by Trent! Boudreux blindsides Trent and then tosses all of the Best Friends to the floor. Chuck gets thrown face first into the guardrail and Trent gets dumped in the front row. Boudreaxu and Trent are legal now as Boudreaux lands a huge splash. Tag to J who hits a basement enziguiri to Trent. Face buster on the knee by J, who reminds of Kenny Fisher aka Special K aka Seth Green from Can’t Hardly Wait. Chops by Trent and Davari gets the quick tag in. Knees to the back before we take a stop at chin lock city, baby. Trent fights out and hits a rolling elbow to Davari who falls into Slim J for the tag. J gets in the face of Cassidy on the apron but Trent grabs J from behind and delivers a half and half suplex. Tag to Cassidy now who delivers his kicks to a grounded J. Davari runs in but Cassidy goes up top… cross body block to Davari but Davari moves and Cassidy takes out J. Tilt-a-whirl DDT to Davari. Cassidy calls in Boudreaux and we’ve got a face off. Body block by Boudreaux drops Cassidy and a double clothesline to the Best Friends. Splashes to everyone in the corner but Boudreaux misses and Best Friends deliver some corner lariats and a triple dropkick. Slim J is in the ring with a sort of sliced bread (maybe #4?) to Cassidy. Enziguiri to Trent and J goes up top and hits a tornillo to Best Friends on the outside. In the ring, Slim J hits his version of Whisper in the Wind and Davari makes the blind tag. Frog Splash by Davari on Cassidy gets a two count. Best Friends make the save and dump J and Davari. Boudreaux goozles Chuck but Trent hits a spear into the guard rail. Orange Punch by OC and Boudreaux gets dumped into the crowd. Cassidy goes up top but Sonny Kiss tosses him off, crotching himself on the top rope. Tag to J who comes in with a diving reverse DDT off the top for a long two count. Danhausen is here! Danhausen puts the curse on Slim J that allows the Best Friends to hit the double choke slam. Orane Punch to Davari on the apron! Trent has J’s head and neck, Taylor has his ankles, and they’re holding him up as Cassidy stands on Best Friends shoulders and comes down with a splash. 1, 2, 3!

Winner: Orange Cassidy & Best Friends

Rating: **1/2. Acceptable trios match, as Boudreaux seems like the future and was made to look strong here while being nowhere near the ring when the rest of them took a loss. Best Friends will do Best Friends things and you know what you’re getting, Davari and Slim J are… there. Best Friends move on to the next round of the trios tournament.

Final Thoughts: Better than last week’s episode, but Rampage is so clear and away the B-show, I think the format needs to change. Hopefully we will see more Ring of Honor talent in the future, but right now this show is just treading water. Five matches is insane for a one house show, the fans need some time to breathe. 6/10.